you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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