Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
