things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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