Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
