dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think I am morally bankrupt
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
