South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
