Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
