Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
