well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
