I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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