As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
