Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
