this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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