I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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