Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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