There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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