You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize