Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
