If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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