Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's blow job season.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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