there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
