Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I am naked and annoyed.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
