all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
