omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My balls are so social today.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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