he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
