I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
