I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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