It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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