please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
