Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
