someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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