why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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