He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I enjoy the company of your penis
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
