dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
