after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
