Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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