i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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