my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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