Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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