ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
