my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize