The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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