Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
