Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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