escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
