It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
