i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
This toilet bowl is my home.
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