the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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