i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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