omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
