Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
