Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
