Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
