blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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