I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
