Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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