Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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