I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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