I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
