as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
